tonight i changed a lightbulb. i've been living in this room for 39 days now, the majority of which have been illuminated by two lamps imported by me. they're lovely, but using them i could only see to read at my desk. the ceiling light burned out weeks ago, but at the time, figuring out how to get the cover off and change the bulb wasn't a priority, with boxes to unpack and stuff everywhere to be organized and allocated. since moving to seattle, my life=adjusting. a new city, new culture, new job, new house, new housemates, close friends at a distance and a handful of old relationships in a new context... the only things that haven't changed in my life are some articles of clothing (though not many) my computer, and my car. the changes have been setting in over the past few weeks and i'm slowly accepting the fact that the new seattlite me has loads of free time on her hands, and very little structure. go to work, early mornings. hang out with my brother's family, some afternoons and evenings. buy food, whenever. hungry? cook. eat. watch an episode of LOST, Kitchen Nightmares (a favorite in this house) or Firefly (my housemate KJ is getting me into it). go for a walk (bring camera). work on application essays? not yet :)... what else? read? so many books i've heard about but never read for myself. the pile that awaits me: the final 1/4 of Wicked, The Secret Life of Bees, Take This Bread, and three or four others that i've started over the past year but never finished. i usually find it hard to focus. thoughts lead to missing people. and checking facebook (every 30 minutes, approximately). though i would have killed for this sort of free time at other times in my life, having no other option has been strange and often sad as i feel the absence of the day to day things (relationships, primarily) that have filled my life of late.
today i solved this time problem by cleaning the bathroom, hoovering, running errands, and tidying. i was putting away clean clothes an hour ago in my half-illumined room, and as i struggled to see the socks in my closet, it dawned on me: the ceiling light! i have lived more days without it than with it, and almost forgot it was there. up i got onto my desk (stubbornly refusing to find a safer option)... the cover wouldn't budge, but reaching awkwardly around it, i twisted out the expired bulb, replacing it with a brand new ikea purchased one. flipped the switch and light! wow. a feeling of victory brought a surge of new life.
so here i am on my bed, blogging. it baffles me how finding a rhythm in a new place can hinge on such mundane things as lightbulbs.
8 years ago
