Paddy's Day

the spelling is deliberate. (ha- the word deliberate always makes me think of Gimli when he falls of his horse in the Fellowship of the Ring) deliberately true to ireland that is, as was my celebration of st. patrick's day this year.

generally, the parts of me shaped by my 16 months in ireland have been finding their place here in seattle... i could name many... of course there's the constant rhythms of rain, but also the immediacy of natural beauty- in place of rainbows, i now catch my breath and am stilled by God's goodness every time i see the clear silhouettes of ever-present snow-peaked mountains against the brilliant colors of a setting sun. there also happens to be an irish shop just a couple minute's drive down the road. bikkies, tea, and memerabilia galore. it's so strange. walking into that shop the day before paddy's day, i was on a mission for bikkies, a key ingredient in the banoffie pie (requested by laura wade-- aka. banakie). the rooms full of familiar things revived memories so tangibly that i could almost fool myself into thinking i was in a cheasy tourist shop in ireland. it was very nearly wonderful... and oh so bittersweet.

normally, the idea of buying things there feels like cheating. but for patrick's day, i took the liberty to use this ireland mirage to honor my memories and celebrate with doug, laura wade, noah, and luke. i purchased some bikkies and a packet of shepherd's pie mix. then, with one more trip to the food store, i had all of the ingredients for shepherd's pie, roast carrots and parsnips (with honey and rosemary, of course!), banoffie pie, and smithwick's.

i arrived at doug and laura wade's mid-afternoon to start chopping. and chop i did. i was so excited for the carrots and parsnips that i filled a pan with enough for 10 people. then i cleaned and chopped potatoes and prepared a pot of water to boil them for mashing. things were going so well! and then..... catastrophe. a loud and sudden crack like a gunshot-- the sound of glass exploding. instead of turning on the burner underneath the pot of water, i had heated the glass pan of carrots and parsnips that were waiting for their turn in the oven. glass everywhere. i mean everywhere! little tiny bits all over the counter, and floor, reaching all parts of the room! shocked and confused, i stumbled as carefully as i could to the connecting room where noah (22 months) was playing to keep him out of the glass-infested kitchen. having heard the sound, laura wade came running downstairs. in a few brilliant maneuvers, she safely relocated noah to his crib (luke is still a beetle, confined to his back, though at this stage he could roll over if the thought occurred to him. as of yet he is more interested in exercising his vocal chords), and systematically removed all appliances and objects from the counters. meanwhile, the shock of what had happened was wearing off and i felt horrible. it was a nightmare of a mess, particularly with a near two year old in the house who is naturally opposed to shoes and socks. but from the moment she saw what had happened, it was clear that laura wade was not angry. she got stuck in and led the cleaning effort, never once blaming me or making me pay emotionally (nor later fiscally) for what happened. she even ran out to the store to get more parsnips and carrots to replace the ones that had gone to their grave by bits of glass and direct contact with the stovetop (MAP women, i couldn't help but think of our fruit salad plastic bowl fiasco!). i share this story with you not to confirm the already prevalent opinion among some that i am flighty (i prefer absent minded!), but because it was a moment that i knew the freedom of grace like never before. the shame i initially felt as i worked to find and collect all of those bits of glass was rendered useless and indeed unnecessary! i am irrevocably human, quite a mess at times. and in this situation, i felt the invitation to truly trust that i am loved and and somehow accepted in the midst of all of it. this is the meaning of forgiveness! it would be ok.

before long, the glass was gone and dinner was cooking once again. 'a new day!' laura wade exclaimed. and this time, she and i were side by side peeling and chopping away. funny how mess makes way for relationship!

...did i mention that my sister in law is amazing?

and though a bit behind schedule, dinner was everything i had hoped it would be... and more.